Dime is the premier basketball magazine, covering the NBA, NCAA, High School, Playground and International basketball - as well as sneakers, fashion and music.
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selves. We were getting billed by them for everything and anything, which had noth- ing to do with trucking. What the mob do is takeover businesses and bleed them dry. Dime: Similar to the restaurant in Goodfellas that they end up burning down? BD: Exactly like that. Dime: Were there any moments where you were concerned for your safety and/or life? BD: Almost everyday. What I mean is that the world I was a part of was very danger- ous. There were hidden cameras in the trucking building and I was wearing a wire. The recorder was in my jock and the wire went up to my armpit. I would meet the wiseguys and be fine during the meetings, but when I would get two miles down the road, I would have to pull over to the side of the road and puke my guts out, or stop at a gas station because I had diarrhea be- cause of the stress. I did not tell anyone that, because like most who wear uniforms, I wanted to think I could handle anything. Dime: What was the result of your investigation? BD: We convicted 30 members of orga- nized crime on racketeering charges, but for me it was coming to the realization that I had gone too deep into this other world as many of the guys we arrested felt like friends. I thought the day of the raid was going to be the best day of my life, but it ended up being the worst. When we brought them in and I saw them, I was dressed in street clothes and one guy asked me what I got pinched for. Before I could answer, one of the other troopers said, "He's with us, he is a Jersey trooper." The immediate reaction and look I got was not one of hate, it was one of disappoint- ment and hurt. He said, "How could you do that to me, I'm your friend." These were people that looked at me as their friend. We are socialized not to tell on friends, it's an unwritten rule on the playground that you don't tell on your friends. I felt I had taken the value of trust and abused it. A feeling of guilt fell over me. Dime: When did you know you were suffering from PTSD? BD: Between threats on my life which created paranoia, high levels of anger and feeling very isolated, there was definitely something present, but PTSD at the time was still yet to be a diagnosis. It wasn't un- til Doctor Hank Campbell said to me, "There is something going on with you," and he diagnosed me with it. I was then connected to Joe Pistone (the real-life Donnie Brasco), and after speaking with him he knew ex- actly what I was going through. That was my first exposure to peer-to-peer therapy. Dime: What was that recovery process like in terms of progress and time? BD: Years upon years. This was not some- thing that was addressed within law en- forcement. I really wanted to connect with something that would give me peace and help me see the positive side of life again. Basketball was that thing. Dime: How did you end up taking the referee route? BD: I was still a trooper, so coaching con- sistently was not going to work, but ref- ereeing games was a good fit as I started doing youth games on Friday nights. It quickly reminded me how special the game was – it was like the feeling of play- ing the game being part of the competition. I moved on to high school and then got connected to the Jersey Shore Pro League where Darell Garretson, Director of NBA Officiating, saw me and put me into the Continental Basketball Association (CBA). Back then Phil Jackson was coaching up in Albany and Bill Musselman in Tampa. The game has always served me well. Basket- ball gave me my life back. Dime: What was your first NBA game experi- ence like? BD: Very special. I was at Madison Square Garden working with Jess Kersey - only two referees on a game back then. It was very exciting. It was the beginning of my new career, and I never took it for granted. Each year I would make it a point to go to a game or two and sit in the stands when I wasn't working, because I wanted to taste and appreciate the game. In my rookie season, I'd get to the arena early because I wanted to get out to the court and make myself very familiar with the surround- ings. I'll never forget the first time I was at the Boston Garden, the banners, the tradi- tion, the floor, it was amazing. Dime: What was your most memorable game Q&A; as an official? BD: There were so many, but I've got three for you. First, Game 5 of the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals when LeBron James could not be stopped in Detroit. Second, the Spurs- Suns playoff game when Steve Nash's nose got busted and it would not stop bleeding. There was a rule change because of that, calling for a new version of the "blood rule." I recall Coach Popovich yelling at me to let Steve play, because he wanted to beat Phoe- nix at their best. Third, Larry Bird's last sea- son against Portland at the Boston Garden. Dime: You worked that game? BD: Yes I did. (laughs) It was St. Patty's Day Sunday in Boston and it was Bird, Chief, McHale and Reggie Lewis against that re- ally good Blazers team that ended up in the Finals that season. Bird had a great game and the Celtics were down seven, I believe, with under a minute to go. Larry then hit that stumbling three-pointer with Drexler all over him to tie the game. Before the overtime started, Bird walked out of the huddle and right up to me, and in typical Bird fashion with no showboating said, "I should be on the line to end this fucking thing." He did it in such a way that no one knew – he was trying to lay ground work for the O.T. He was an intense competitor. 29